A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize