idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
there is glitter all over my balls
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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