It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
