i think my mom watched the whole time
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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