she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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