She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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