he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
