I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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