just come out here and I will go home with you...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
