Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
