There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
