We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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