there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
