Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
