Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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