it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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