ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
