I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
