so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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