Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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