she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You ruined the universe
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
