Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
