I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
