Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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