i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
