I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
