I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
