I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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