I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
