every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
