why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
