Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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