return my video game
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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