your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
