Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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