doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
