look no pants
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
