You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
