: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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