i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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