I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
