the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Congratulations! We have a period
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