Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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