He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
