using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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