Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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