what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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