i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
