He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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