If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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