i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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