i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dick very happy bro
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
