You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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