Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
