I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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