dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize