He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
