pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
