the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Never joke about your clitoris.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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