whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
