no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize