hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
