went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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