I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
