Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
