So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
