Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
