you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
