I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
