I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
